?

Log in

No account? Create an account
November 2010   01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
meep

Profile review.

Posted by invidia1988 on 2008.06.23 at 21:32
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Just curious I don't know if this is allowed but can I have some reviews on my profile I am writing. Don't mind the grammar mistakes just the main body of it. I'll be editing the grammar mistakes later. I have major problems in writing profiles so this is a huge attempt to try and make it look half-way decent.

I am sorry if this isn't allowed but I really need some help. I will move it if it isn't allowed.

Edit: I updated with a revised version but proofing is always welcomed.

Hello welcome to Invidia1988's Death Note role playing journal of L. I would love to say I am taking on quite the role here as an au L. But enough about me this is suppose to be about L.

Spoilers for L's real name and some spoilers for a friends story she had written. Please be sure to read </a></b></a>thinealias's story http://community.livejournal.com/bb_anothernote/12169.html A high recommend for anyone following my character. Now without hesitation my attempt at writing a reasonable profile. I chose to write it in a narrative form due to having issues with grammar. Please be kind I don't like flames. but I do appreciate the constructive critique alone. Now hopefully I didn't butcher this too badly.


L is Lawliet, Ryuzaki, and Hideki Ryuga in Death note he is the worlds famous detective he has been in several detective wars with Eraldo Coil, and Deneuve. There is not much information about these two other detectives but they played a huge role into L's early career life. Along with these detectives are also the criminals he had endured and survived like the BB murder cases. He survived his encounter with Beyond Birthday through Naomi Misora.

Born on October 31st of 1979, he is 5'10" tall and about 110 in weight. He has a pale complexion, dark black eyes with bags under them due to lack of sleep. He wears plain white t-shirts and simple blue jeans. Jet black hair that stops just above the shoulders spiked (moreso looks like his hair is usually a mess like he wakes up just brushes a comb through it then calls good.) He has a curve to his back when he stands at full height but he gives off a slouch to his posture a result of his sitting habits. Generally he is very handsome even with his awkward features.

A bit after the BB murder cases he took on a new case one that baffled the majority of regular task force. This was the Kira murder case he raised the challenge against Kira aka Light Yagami by holding a live broadcast to flesh out Light at first using a stand in. Lind L. Taylor, Light had no hesitation seizing this challenge from L and killed the stand in.

L has a massive sweet tooth there is not a moment in the anime or manga that goes by where he doesn't have some sort of sweet dessert or a drink loaded with sugar. His main drinks are coffee or tea main dessert is usually strawberry shortcake but he loves just about everything sweet to the sweetest fruits.

Ryuzaki he gets closer to Light this way during their tennis match. At the time he was trying to provoke the "Kira" side out rather than be friends the two gained an odd friendship of sorts secretly wanting to find out the other's secrets. Light wants L's real name and L wants to find out that Light is Kira. He knows Light is Kira but has no set proof against him.

Beside his detective abilities he also has great athletic skills despite his awkward posture. He is a champion tennis player and great in self defense with Capoeria. He displayed these traits well when pursuing Light. While chained to him in one scene a fight had broken out between him and Light what people had thought of him as “weak” turned to be a major underestimation. Ryuzaki is also a heavy genius able to tie in the top score with Light at the To-Oh entrance exams.

On an alternate universe note L belongs to a world where he had been involved with catching Beyond Birthday. He met Naomi Misora through the investigation it was shortly after a string of events that he had married Naomi though with B’s very obsessive behavior he had caught L and proceeded to make him pay for the pain he had caused A.

However luck has always been on L’s side but not without a major price. They were soon found by Naomi and L had been given a chance to run out after Naomi had arrived at the scene. Because of his running it had resulted in two very fatal deaths. The death of Naomi and the unborn life she had been carrying. Ryuzaki had no idea this had taken place he was trying to get out of the hospital away from Beyond Birthday who had been tailing him after he had taken cared of Naomi.

Thanks to the tragic sacrifice L had managed to get to the main floor during a timely fall. It was this moment that B had made his own mistake he had not calculated a barrage of gunfire in his direction. The last words from B to L were “L.... I only wanted… to be with you...I only wanted your attention… I only wanted to be good enough... I failed you...I failed us... I only wanted... “These words had eaten at the detective till he had a chance meeting with B again in a replicated scenario where B had explained more in depth to what drove him to do all that. It was because of A the boy who had killed himself due to the pressure of trying to be one of L’s successors. The suicide had a huge impact on Beyond Birthday this act A did was the reason he had chose to take life instead of fighting for it. To challenge L. He wanted to get rid of the competition so he sought out to be like L imitating his very actions sitting posture, holding things, and eating habits.

But this isn’t about B this is suppose to be about L I’m just trying to get basics down. Well for anyone who has read the BB murder cases should know more since everyone has their own view well this is my view of L with a dash of what is fabricated. I honestly look forward to role playing not only a near canon of L but also this au version I adopted. With that said please don’t be afraid to approach me. I don’t bite that often.

Comments:


Ryuzaki
dubia_lux at 2008-06-24 19:55 (UTC) (Link)
This post is completely allowed, don't worry.

As for the profile, you may want to consider dividing it into sections? I find that helps organize things and makes them visually appealing as well as easier to write.

The common sections are usually base stats (birthday, age, gender, etc), personality and history.
invidia1988
invidia1988 at 2008-06-24 21:29 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you I'll make sure to do that. I'll be updating this post with a revised version.
L
firm_detective at 2008-06-25 07:49 (UTC) (Link)
I have no profile, just a set of notes that I keep for myself. I assume that telling people it's an AU L with mostly-canon behavior will be enough... there's nothing in his background that deviates from canon, really, and it's a DN RPG, not a multi-universe one where people might genuinely not know who L is.

My notes are "this is what I think we can take for granted or suss out from canon stuff; this is what I have developed for myself, particular to Firm-Detective-L." They're very TL;DR.

So anyway, LJ ATE MY "NOTES" POST TODAY. Now it's all over the place. D:

orz

(I do have a copy, but meh, getting it back into the right format is going to be such a problem that I'm thinking of starting from scratch.)
invidia1988
invidia1988 at 2008-06-25 08:51 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you for your help. *has more stuff to do now.*
Previous Entry  Next Entry